A unique take on a Family Tree

We all have our families. For better or for worse, they are who we are supposed to support and depend upon through thick and thin. One way to cope with family drama is to remember that although we can't choose our family members, we can choose our friends. It's a helpful thing to keep in mind when trying to accept what we can about the people who are supposed to love us and accept us unconditionally.

For those who aren't fortunate enough to have a loving and wonderful family and who have reached their limit with the piles of needless guilt and drama they provide, I offer another solution, or perspective, rather.

Trim the unhealthy branches from your family tree. That's right, trim those branches! Prune away at those connections which have served to do nothing more than tie you down, preventing you from becoming that happy, well-adjusted person you know you are. I'm not saying that this needs to be a permanent solution, in fact, I think you should always be open to reconnection - as long as it's a healthy connection. Healthy trees keep sprouting new twigs which eventually grow again into branches, afterall.

And no, I'm not trying to sound cynical either. I'm simply suggesting that it's okay to let go of unhealthy relationships. Taking time for yourself, time to heal, is paramount to maintaining your center as you walk through life.

Not all trees need to be like the willow, maple or oak, full with leaves, twigs and flowers to be beautiful. They can be clipped and molded by our will and intentions into a wonderful masterpiece, like the bonsai.

Aloha Living in the Island of the Goddess

After visiting Paradise on and off over the past 10 years, I had always felt like I was losing a part of myself each and every time I'd leave. It occurred to me after a terrible divorce, that I could return - and for as long as I wanted, even if that meant for ever.

About a year ago, I did just that. I didn't come by myself, however. I was fortunate enough to bring my best friend Morgon, with me.

And together, he and I faced many difficulties. We endured a rat-infested, bug-trap of an apartment (where I was afraid to walk around without the lights on), terrible landlords, mal-functioning vehicles, hurricane season - among other things, with the worst being the financial strain of a depressed economy. Good-paying jobs, we were told, would be scarce and difficult to obtain because we were outsiders. But like everything else we had overcome, that too, went by the wayside.

Since then, I experienced some traumatic health issues, which brought on a new set of worries. However, somewhere in the stress and anxiety, I realized that the person who stood by me through thick and thin from the beginning, was not just my best friend anymore, but somebody I knew I didn't want to live without.

We married in a small private ceremony with our bare feet in the sand under the setting sun. (click here for pics)

And for my bride's gift, he bought me everything I'd need to paint again. Even moved us to a new place with a garden we could plant together that overlooks the ocean. There I have set my easel up permanently and can pursue finishing my books.

We are happy. Like halcyon days, we live simple lives with little stress or expense. There is music and laughter and growth. We've met a lot of good people and made some great friends. We both have jobs we love and look forward to everyday.

When we sit in our garden together and reflect on how lucky we are, we can't help but feel blessed. We've come so far in so little time, starting from nothing and knowing no-one. We have a shared dream and look forward to walking into that future together.

I smile to myself as I remember all those years when I was visiting the island and hearing the Goddess whispering, beckoning for me to stay. I can't help now but reply in spite of myself "Here I am. Here WE are. And we are finally home."